Haves and Have Not’s

There are two types of people in this world, the haves and haves not. Not sure who said this, but they’re a lot more other people than this. You forgot about the annoying and not annoying people. I feel this is the biggest insult you can say about a person. My God they’re  annoying..


We’ve all been there, scratching your head thinking how the fuck do I know this person. I hate them and yet I’m on holidays with them for 2 weeks. As you get older the idea of meeting new people is about as exciting as a last minute maths exam.


Not for me, I know too many people, I could get rid of a few. It’s the small things that can annoy you like how a person talks or breathes. I once lived with a person who every 90 seconds coughed like they were giving deep throat to a gorilla


You can’t pick your family but you can pick your friends,. If that’s the case, you’d never have to go to a shit wedding again. Sitting with a table of strangers talking about patios and the cost of day care for their kids. When you don’t have kids,talking about day care is like talking to a priest about death metal.


Living with people is the big icebreaker, nothing like the sound of a flat mate in Flip-flops to make you feel about committing a homicide. In big city’s these are the sacrifices you have to make to survive. It’s about compromise and by compromise I mean work out a schedule that you never have to meet.


Certain things that happen in a house share that can stay with you for life. Like listening to a couple having sex .I don’t mean sitting outside their door with a glass to it. When you don’t want to hear it .Being woken up by the noise of people you vaguely know having sex,My god this should be used when questioning prisons of war.


I know I would sing like a canary, if I was put through it.So the next time you’re moving into a house share and you have that awkward interview with your future housemates ,make sure to ask then, how loud are you guys when you’re Riding???


You may need to get a one bedroom flat to yourself…