Shopping on line

JAN 14 2018……


Shopping on line is way too easy, you go on to Facebook then 30 seconds later you’ve bought a pair of trainers and booked a holiday. You don’t even have to leave the house.One of the positives of on line shopping is you don’t have to try the clothes on. The changing rooms are so small in shops,the lighting is so bright ,you come out of the shop with heat stroke and think you need to cut back on carbs.


I buy all my clothes on line, it’s easier, no buses, tubes. You don’t have to talk to up beat shop assistants. Can I help you?? They’re to keen, would you just let me get out of my car.Also you can change clothes really easy, tick a box and send them back, they even pay for the post.Back in the day it was easier to make the clothes then to return them


Me-Hi, can I exchange this jeans ,they’re too small.


Assistant -Have you tried them on???


Me -No ,I just guessed it ,I did try them on


Assistant- You can’t change them ,once you’ve try them on, they’re  soiled ??


Me-Soiled ??? I didn’t take a shit in them


Then you play your trump card, you didn’t want to do it,But you have no choice, You send your Mother in …Nobody fucks with your mother.Everybody knows not to fuck with someones mother.Then two days later you have your money back, a Job offer and a voucher for the shop…


People can get addicted to on line shopping Must be one of the better addictions,Unlike drink and drugs,you don’t see people on the street begging for shoes.Is there a “on line shopping anonymous “sounds like a mouth full


Alcoholic Anonymous  is a safe place for people with alcohol problems, to get help, they follow a 12 step programmer.So I have been told.But it’s anonymous,nobody knows who goes in, people don’t discuss it. You have anonymity, unless you’re in Ireland. Where the meetings are sign posted.


I remember as a teenager, I’d get the bus home from town,on the route,you’d see a big massive sign on a wall going A.A THIS WAY. Get there early ……limited numbers, first come first served. Well that wasn’t there,But you get me.People knew where it was.


You can drink non-alcoholic beer, Wearing fake clothes won’t  cure a shop alcoholic.I don’t get non alcoholic beer, Why would anybody want to drink non alcoholic beer.It has the taste of everything that ruined your life with absolutely no craic.Anyway I’ve  got to go, I need to get back on line and buy a pair of shoes.